[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: "Let your yes be yes" <---> "It is rude to say no"

[andre999]

Johnny A. Solbu a écrit :
> On Friday 13 July 2012 01:35, Frank Griffin wrote:
>    
>> I think you're missing the point.
>>      
> As did you. I gave a few example on how to avoid to lie, and be thuthfull at the same time.
> There is a difference in not telling what they wan't to hear, and lying just to avoid problems.
> Besides, telling the truth does not mean that you should tell the whole truth. There's a difference. :-)=
>
>    
>> In some cultures, not giving offense trumps telling the truth.
>>      
> Which does not defend lying. I really cannot envision a situation where outright lying is prefered over telling the truth or just shutting up.
> If the truth is to much in a situation, then suck it up and shutup. If you're not saying anything, you can't be lying.
>    

That depends on what is understood.  Which depends largely on culture, 
but also on personal point of view.
For example, there has been more than one statement on your part that, 
from my point of view, did not accord with reality.  Did I consider that 
you were "lying" ?  No.
That you had a different understanding of the situation, a different 
point of view, and maybe that you were mistaken, depending on the 
particular point in question.

The world of communication is subjective, however much we might like, as 
those implicated in the computer field, that it be mathematically objective.

"Lying" is an agressive word that is disrespectful of others, in my view.
For example, it is considered unacceptable by parliamentary rules in 
most democratic countries, as well as in diplomacy.
Even though I tend to hold strong opinions on various subjects, I 
wouldn't accuse others of lying.

Perhaps my point of view is conditioned by the many cultures from all 
around the world that one finds in Canada.  In the past I briefly 
studied Japanese, and as already pointed out, their language and culture 
is very much oriented to politeness, characterised by being indirect.
Those cultures where people tend to be more direct are frequently see as 
rude by others.
But even in cultures which are more direct, being less direct is seen as 
being more polite.  The differences between cultures is largely a matter 
of degree.
> There's another way to answer if someone ask if you would do something. You can say "Yes, I can do that". By that statement you're simply saying that you /can do it, you didn't say that you Would do it. I did that with my late grandma, which often asked me to do things that I really didn't want to do, and I didn't want to tell her that I hoped to avoid it.
> The trick is how you say it, which is what lawyers have discovered.
>    

If it is a "trick", it is any more honest ?
As for lawyers, they have their own jargon which often does not accord 
with the usual usage of their language.  (Often totally illogical, if 
interpreted word for word, as well.)
> And yes, this is something that I really have strong opinions about. ;-)=
>    

I think we noticed :)

-- 
André